Tuesday, March 31, 2009

story behind trouble teens

salam...

For today entry..i would like to talk about troubled teens. Whose that we clarify as the troubled teens???????

Troubled teens are young adults those are rejecting their heritage, rebelling against parental authority, looking for acceptance in the wrong places, and to whom academic pursuit is no longer a part of their vision. Troubled teens are young adults that suffer from one, or some of the following symptoms-Alcohol or drug abuse, Depression, Attention Deficit Disorder, Disrespect, Poor academic performance, Bad Attitude, Display of negativity (physically or mentally), Teen pregnancy, Suicide attempt, Eating Disorder. Teens experience sadness. Frustrations, disillusionment, the first heart break and hormones running amok are bound to sadden the gladdest of hearts on occasion but some teens experience a sadness that goes deeper, lasts longer and weighs heavier. This deeper, darker sadness is depression. A normal teen can turn into a troubled teen for a combination of reasons. The reason is listed below:

- Depression is one of the most common disorders: Depression causes decreased energy and social isolation. The teen may have difficulty with motivation. The depressed teenager will have difficulty summoning the energy to perform the activities they enjoy, as well as the activities the parent assigns as chores. They may, for instance, not "feel like" going to the mall with their friends, not "feel like" going to the rock concert, etc. The teen may feel tired all the time because sleep disturbances are also a sign of depression. They may feel as if they are insignificant and become irritable, taking out their misery on family members via verbal, emotional or physical abuse.

- Hopeless: Troubled teens usually do not have any ambitions in life, or at least they are not strong enough to find for achieving them. Some troubled teens exert negative influences on others.

- Panic attacks: Sometimes, he/she may be nervous doing a certain task that may be scary. Teens fear is to challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make you’re fearful or anxious, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense. For example a man/women afraid that if they do not get that job promotion then he/she will be stuck at your job forever. This depresses him or her; however your thinking in this situation is unrealistic. Facing the fear and anxiety of the unknown: All most everybody worries about what will happen in the future? The prospect of not knowing if something good or bad will happen to you in the near future can produce a lot of fear and anxiety. Alcohol and substance abuse: It is not easy to deal with his/her fears and anxieties however trying to avoid them through Alcohol or other substances will not work. Avoiding his/her fears and anxieties will not make them go away. His or her fears and anxieties will always be there.

- Loneliness: Sometime he or she will experience a time when we are alone. Some people fear of being alone for various reasons. At that time the depression came to his or her mind. Strong pressures and stress of life: Considering the world of today with all the high-pressure from parents, school, peers, advertising and the amount of information that is thrown at them daily it is no wonder that troubled teens are getting more and more. As young adults, they are shaping their personalities yet too many become troubled teens, unable to grow strong and secure due to the pressures and stress of life. Many of them itself creates ideal conditions for the development of troubled teens, because it have proven that such teenagers have underdeveloped front part of the main brain, which makes it difficult for them to determine right from wrong.


Many believe that troubled teens are product of the society they live in. But as it was already mentioned, it is most likely a combination of reasons that make teens troubled. It is not easy to deal with the fear of the unknown, however sometimes the fear can be worse than the situation.

Just compared with our life today..
Do we are the one among them..?????
Take the positive step and never take the problems and the depression as something that cannot be solve and disappeared. We choose what we want in this life. Your choice will control your future.......

aRiouss….

Saturday, March 28, 2009

your friends and those whose love you

salam......

i want to start my entry with a question...

A frequently asked question is: “Why do so few people succeed when there is so much opportunity in the world?” The answer is simply that some of your closest friends and relatives love you too much. Seems like a crazy statement doesn’t it? So please read on to discover the logic and wisdom that has gone into it.

Why not start by examining love and friendship?

If you love somebody you want to protect them from all the problems and obstacles that life throws up from time to time. You want place a protective barrier around them so that they are subjected only to the good things and are far removed from risk or exposure. This is a fact and if you do not express love in this manner you should maybe take a look at your relationships.

It is very similar with friendship in that we want our friends to be protected from anybody, or thing, that may be a danger to them. This is a natural response that we all feel otherwise there would be no such thing as friendship and the world would be a poorer, less happy place.

But do not close your mind to the fact that you are big enough to protect yourself from the problems that life may bring and you cannot be a success if you do not overcome problems.

Here are some examples that explain this phenomenon:

Just watch a mother protecting her child: She doesn’t want him to take up boxing because he may get hurt. If she feels he is being treated unfairly at school she takes the matter up with the teacher or school principle. If she feels he is doing anything that may upset him if it goes wrong she immediately starts to steer him away from it. If that fails she makes a darn good excuse for him to use if it does fail in the future. She is making a soft landing for him.

Before we examine the effects of the mother’s natural behaviour let us take a look at friendship and how friends protect each other.

A young man is slightly drunk and arrives at a ladies house and tries to talk her into letting him in. She makes a polite excuse and sends him away. As soon as he leaves she thinks about whom he may go to next and she realizes that he is also friendly with a one of her girlfriends. First thing she does is telephone the girlfriend to warn her that she may get a call from this drunken friend.

She does this because she wouldn’t be a very good friend if she didn’t; or so she thinks. Even police investigations are often hampered by friends protecting each other when they don’t know the reasons for the investigation. It is natural for friends to protect each other just as it is natural for a mother to support her child. But, and this is a big question: Are you helping or harming your friend with your sense of care?

People that are close to you actually hold you back by feeding negative comments to you in an effort to protect you.

but sometime we blame them and not appreciate what they do for us..
do not think that we are the best...
because everybody have their weaknesses....

aRiouss........

recover from break ups

salam...

Break up seem to be, unfortunately a normal part of the modern day life. Healing from relationship break-ups and divorce are a difficult task at best.
Some people never completely recover, carrying with them the pain of the break up through life. Others become immobilized from the fear of getting close to a partner again. Even celebrities have break-ups; Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston to be said the most famous one.

Even if you are the one who initiated the breakup, the feeling of loss and separation can be distressing. There is a mental state called “separation anxiety”, which describes the feelings you may have now that your partner is no longer a part of your life, your thoughts, and your emotions. The important thing is to figure out the best way to get past this and get the breakup out of your system.

The following are the top 10 ways to recover from a break up and speed up the healing process.

1. Allow yourself plenty of healing time.

Different people heal at different rates so be patient with yourself. It’s okay to grieve and cry, just make sure you make an effort to not use this as an excuse for being a hermit many months later.

2. Stay busy.

Don’t allow yourself any “daydreaming” time. If you have time for a part time job, get one. If you don’t want a job, take up some volunteer work. Take up a hobby. Focus on anything you enjoy.

3. Exercise and improve your diet.

Besides giving you a positive endorphin rush, joining a gym can put you into social circumstances. Through exercising and improving your diet, you’ll not only be taking care of your body and your health, you’ll improve your self esteem as well.

4. Make an effort to meet new people.

Join a club, take a class, volunteer, go the park, attend a concert. Allow these larger social groups to replace the connections you had with your lover for a while. Take action and just do it.

5. Seek professional therapy.

There is no shame in seeking outside help. If you can’t afford therapy, seek out a support from a relationship recovery message board.

6. Surround yourself with as many family and friends as possible.

If your relationship with your friends and family suffered because of the huge amount of time you spent with your sweetheart, now is the time to patch up old relationships.

7. Focus on yourself.

Much of your energy went into your relationship and now you have time to pamper yourself. Take those long baths you never had time for, read that saucy novel that has dust on it, so now is the time to work on yourself.

8. Strengthen your spiritual side.

Pray or go to church for non muslim. It’s amazing how these things can help re-center you.

9. Give advice to other women who have it much worse than you.

It will put things in perspective and allow you to stop feeling sorry for yourself. There are lots of people with problems far worse than yours. Help them.

10. Adopt a pet.

Studies show that people with pets are overall happier and live longer. Go to your local animal shelter and adopt a pet in need. Just make sure you have the time to take care of your new friend properly.

believe in yourself..you can do it..
although the pain is so hurting you...
you can if you want to...

aRiouss.........

Friday, March 27, 2009

overcome your past mistakes

salam....

For the first sentence I want to say that I strongly believe that in life we should have no regrets. Quite simply you cannot change what has gone before so why waste time regretting what you cannot alter? But that's not to say that you should ignore the things you have done in the past that went wrong or those occasions when you made mistakes. Instead you should always be prepared to learn from them and so take something positive from all of your experiences.

So I'm going to ask you to look back, just for a moment. Bring to mind something from your past where things went wrong or you believe you made a mistake or failed to achieve what you wanted to do. It may be something that continues to play on your mind and so possibly prevents you from doing today, the things that you really desire. You may have to go back to your childhood or it could just as easily be something that happened in the last week that it is still really bugging you.

Whatever it is be open and honest with yourself and then follow these 10 simple steps:

Step 1

Write down exactly what happened with as much detail as you can. Be precise and try not to let any feelings you have about the incident cause you to edit or leave out important facts.

Step 2

Define what part you had in the incident. What actions did you take, were they deliberate acts, or were they things you were persuaded or even forced to do by someone else?

Step 3

Define who else was involved and what they actually did. It's important to be completely honest and, for instance, identify whether someone may have prevented you from doing something or perhaps tried to stop you from taking a particular course of action.

Step 4

Ask yourself truthfully what you could have done differently that would have resulted in a better outcome. Be through because it may only be a little thing but it could make all the difference in the future.

Step 5

Identify what anyone else involved could have done differently and what you could have done to help them to do so. Be prepared to admit where you were at fault including by maybe just standing by and letting something happen.

Step 6

Define what the best outcome would have been for everyone concerned.

Step 7

Having followed the steps so far, now write a plan for how you would achieve the desired outcome in the event of the incident occurring today. Be clear and concise in the steps you would take and how you would interact with anyone else involved.

Step 8

Write a list of all the things you have learned by carrying out this exercise. Once again you must ensure you are honest with yourself and don't ignore things that might be less then palatable to you.

Step 9

Identify how the things you have learned can help you to achieve the goals you have and what additional things you need. Establish clearly what you have learned about your strengths and weaknesses and how you can act upon them.

Step 10

Write a clear plan as to what you are going to do in order to put to use what you have learned. Only by setting and following well thought out, well-planned, and written goals will you achieve what you want in life.

We all make mistakes and get things wrong but by having a genuine desire to learn from the events in the past you can truly take advantage and move forward. Don't let the mistakes of your past spoil your future because we are human and not perfect, we will always make mistakes that sometime we even not realize it.

aRiouss......

improve your self confident

salam..

Almost everyone wants to build more self confidence. Self confidence is like a bank account, you need to make regular deposits into it to keep it growing. So, here are 5 great tips that you can try to improve your confident.

Focus on your strengths.
Self confidence means freedom from self-doubt. People who have a lot of self confidence focus on what their strengths are, not on what they can't do. Everyone has weaknesses, but the difference is not everyone do well on them. Make a list of your strengths today and focus on things you do well.

Set goals.
Having achievable goals is a quick way to become more self confident. Having goals gives you a sense of purpose and by achieving those goals over time you will gain self confidence. If you don't have written goals, then you should start today.

Smile.
It is a fact that you can't feel depressed when you are smiling. In fact in one study done, a group of people who were depressed were told to smile in a mirror for only a few minutes a day. The results were amazing. Most of the people improved how they felt.

Change your posture.
Picture in your mind someone who looks depressed. That pictures likely shows someone who has hunched over shoulders and a sad expression on their face. Now picture someone who has a high level of self confidence. That picture probably shows someone sitting straight up and a bright smile on their face. Just by changing your posture you can improve your emotional state.

Be Grateful.
Being in a state of gratefulness is another way to build self-confidence. Everyone, no matter how bad their situation can find something to be grateful in their lives. By being grateful and focusing on the good things in your life you can improve your outlook. Spend some time every morning when you wake up being grateful for what you have, and your whole day will go better.

As you can see building self confidence comes down to your mind and how you think. Having all the self confidence you want is, within you right now, if you just change the way you think. Start today and use at least one of these tips and you will see and feel a difference in your life.

aRiouss....

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

friendship

salam....

Why Friendship and what is need of friendship

Why we need friendships when we have a lovely life in this world. Why we need friends in our life.
Well friends, this is a tedious question to answer. Lets see each questions.

Why we need friendships?

Friendships are the gift to the man kind. The relation which we get in this world are blood related. But the only relationships which doesnot related to blood is friendship. Friendship has many forms and shapes. It is like water. If we pour the water into a jug it takes the shape of jug. if you pour the same water into a bowl it takes the shape of bowl. Sameway friendships will take a different shapes and sizes according to our heart. Friendship gives pleasure to human beings. Where there is friendship then there will not be any sorrow. When you see a child laughing you will forget your sorrows for a second, sameway when you are with a friend you forget your sorrows.

Friendships crosses boundries

The world is rotating smoothly because of the friendly hearts in the world. it crosses boundries and share a mutual bonding of love. Friendships will take care of this entire world from problems. If we are friends then our countries will, when our countries are friends then there is not need of weapons. So take weapon named friendship and love and conqure the world with love.

Friendships saves life

Trusted true friendships never makes others down. it helps a lot to make friends to comeup from the situation. Friendships never expect anything in return for all its offering. It saves life without looking into situation.

Why we need friends & friendships?

Friends comes with friendships, They are the channel of love and affection. Friends are like child's heart which doesn't know wrong thinkings. When there is a friend with us we feel secure, happy, huge support, and comfortable which you can't get from others.

So Lets get some real friends in this world. and lets Be Friends.

aRiouss........



conflict oh conflict

salam....

Some couples have serious issues with constantly arguing in a relationship. There are several reasons that this is a very unhealthy way to live. Firstly, this type of consistent fighting can lead to harsh words and feelings, and even violence. It makes friends and loved ones very uncomfortable around you, and it can ultimately cause a break up in the relationship.

The first nasty result of constant fighting and arguing in a relationship is that there are harsh words said that cause harsh feelings. Saying, I'm sorry, is often not enough of a band-aid for some people. Many times, when people are angry at each other, even if they care a great deal for each other, they say things that they later regret and, at the time, do not even mean. Even if the argument is over and all is forgiven, this type of harshness sometimes hangs over into the relationship far after the altercation is over.

Another thing these types of arguments can lead to is physical violence from either party. This is definitely a place you do not want this arguing to escalate to.Another thing that can happen if you happen to argue with each other in the company of other people is that people will no longer wish to be around you as a couple.

Having someone argue in front of you makes for a very uncomfortable situation. If this happens on such a regular basis that you become known for it, people will begin to decline social invitations, and may begin to avoid you both all together. Being known for constantly bickering is not a good way to be remembered by friends.

One final bad result of arguing all the time with your mate is probably the most obvious. Eventually, the arguing will become tiresome and too hurtful to bear. When this happens, it ultimately could lead to the break up of the relationship. Though at the time, breaking up may be the desirable alternative to consistent bickering, it is probably not the ultimate desire when the relationship first started.

If you can find a way to get past the things that have been said before and forgive, you may be able to keep the relationship from falling apart.The negative effects of constantly arguing in a relationship are not just on you and your spouse, though those are enough. Negative effects include harsh words and hurt feelings, sometimes escalating to violence, making others uncomfortable around the both of you, and breaking up.

While these are all devastating effects to the couple itself, it is also devastating to those who are around and care for the couple as well. This type of conflict in a relationship is so negative and unhealthy, and if it is possible to resolve, it should be for the sake of the relationship.

don't ignore the problems occur but try to solve it in positive ways.

''try the best to achieve the best among the best''

aRiouss......


love or not

salam...

You probably haven’t thought about this possibility, but the truth is that you may be wanted by many men or women, without being loved by them.
If you are attractive, intelligent, you have a great personality, money, beauty, etc., you may be desired by many people that belong to the opposite sex, but this doesn’t mean that they love you.

This means that they want to posses you, without caring about the way you feel, your plans, ideals or preferences. You will be able to verify if they really love you or not by examining their actions and their behavior.

Be very careful if you are very attractive, for one reason or another…How can you verify if they are playing with you and they only want to fulfill their selfish desires, using you like a trophy that they exhibit to their environment, or using your intelligence and good disposition in order to make you work for them without being paid?

How can you be sure that you are not being used?Pay attention to the way they behave with you. If they make you suffer, without caring about the way you feel, but only about their desires, their plans and their ambitions, you’ll be easily able to understand that they don’t love you. They simply want you, for other reasons.

Otherwise, they would never make you suffer in order to oblige you to follow their plans. They are already using you if they are making you suffer for any reason.
Be careful if you are too wanted by too many, and never be vain, because your position is very delicate. Vanity is pure stupidity, because if you are beautiful or very intelligent, this doesn’t mean that you are perfect as a human being or that your mental health is safe. On the contrary: you are the ideal victim for the wild anti-conscience, your primitive wild conscience that wants to destroy your human side through craziness and control your behavior.

Be very serious and carefully examine everyone that cares about you.They only want your honey, like flies. They don’t care about your desires, your personality, your feelings, nothing…They want to imprison you in a cage and be your owners, because you are very nice.
You have to learn many things about the human psyche and human behavior if you want to be safe. The person who will really love you will care first of all about making you happy!
Pay attention to all the details and examine everything very carefully before being a victim of your own vanity.

Never believe that someone loves you, only because they felt attracted by your characteristics, your intelligence or your social position.

as the young women we must careful at all the step we take..
we just know someone outside not inside them.

'''don't judge a book by its cover'''

Sunday, March 22, 2009

pressure?

hi...salam...
for today i want to share about overcome the pressure.....read this.!!!!

Teenagers have a lot to deal with. They have to withstand peer pressure, deal with adult expectations and rejections. It's natural that sometimes they are confused and discontented. This causes low self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence, which in turn causes depression, unhappiness, and insecurity among teenagers.

Symptoms of a troubled teen:

* Performing badly in school, lack of concentration, and forgetfulness
* Remaining aloof, keeping away from friends and activities
* Feeling sad and hopeless
* Prone to quick bouts of anger and rage, or reacting strongly to criticism
* Being indecisive, restless, and agitated
* Changes in eating and sleeping patterns
* Substance abuse
* Having problems with authority

Take charge before the symptoms become too severe.

What we should do????

1. Face your fears. Once you face them, you will feel that they aren't as bad as you thought they
were. Facing your fears will increase your confidence.
2. Forget past failures. Don't assume that just because you failed before, things will go wrong

again. Look on your failures as stepping stones.
3. Reward yourself when you have achieved something. Self-help is always the best help. Learn

to rely on yourself.
4. Talk to others. Don't come to hasty conclusions about a situation or a person. If you have any

doubts or questions, clarify. Don't assume things.
5. Don't let failure defeat you. Accept it. Try something else. Everyone fails at some point in life.


try to solve our problems and pressure in positive ways..
we decide what we want....
so try the best...
aRiousss......

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

make yourself happy

How to Make Yourself Happier

In 1986, L. Ron Hubbard wrote a poem which is a guide to happiness.

"The Joy of Creating"
"Force yourself to smile and you’ll soon stop frowning.
"Force yourself to laugh and you’ll soon find something to laugh about.
"Wax* enthusiastic** and you’ll very soon feel so.
"A being causes his own feelings.
"The greatest joy there is in life is creating.
"Splurge on it!" — L. Ron Hubbard

(*wax: to increase in size, strength or intensity.)
(**enthusiastic: having or demonstrating enthusiasm.)


Four Steps to Make Yourself Happier

1. "Force yourself to smile and you’ll soon stop frowning."

Try this exercise.

A. Smile
B. Don’t smile
C. Smile
D. Don’t smile
E. Smile
F. Don’t smile
G. Repeat the above until you are cheerful.

Do this exercise whenever you are frowning, upset, depressed, angry, apathetic or resentful.
Try the exercise in front of a mirror for an extra boost.


2. "Force yourself to laugh and you’ll soon find something to laugh about."

This exercise is useful when you are feeling stressed out or too serious.

A. Force a laugh.
B. If this is difficult for you to do, say, "ha ha ha ha ha." Then say, "ho, ho, ho, ho, ho."
Then say, "he, he, he, he, he."
C. Repeat the above until you find something to laugh about.


3. "Wax enthusiastic and you’ll very soon feel so."

When you feel enthusiasm for a difficult task, you make better decisions, get more done
in less time and produce a better result.

A. Write down a task you are avoiding or hate to do.
B. Ask yourself, "What about this task is interesting?" Write down the answer.
C. Ask yourself, "What could I be a little excited about regarding this task?" Write down
the answer.
D. Ask yourself, "What could I be enthusiastic about regarding this task?" Write down the answer.
E. Repeat steps B, C and D until you feel enthusiastic about doing the task.
You might be surprised at how quickly this works.


4. "The greatest joy there is in life is creating."

What are your greatest joys in life?
Being a parent? Starting a company? Finding new customers? Forming new
relationships?
Notice how each activity creates something?

A. Write down three things you can create today.
B. Do them.
C. Notice if your day is more joyful.

The happiest individuals, families and groups are those that create things.
The most exciting goals you can have involve creating something.
In fact, all of your success is your creation.
"Splurge on it!"
i found these article on internet and its good to share with all of you. Because not all the time we are in happy condition, sometime we are in tough situation, at that time this article will help you.
try it, you will fell better. aRiouss......

Monday, March 2, 2009

we lives in real world which everybody have their own problems...no ones in this world doesn't have the problem and that problems actually make us more matured. but there is the people whose take the problems as something that really worst..and to solve it,they blame others without think about it twice..maybe with that way they feel relief, but how about the person that been blame...
in making the decision we need to consider others..we should not directly blame others when it actually come from us..
as the human...everybody will make mistakes....

for my lovely friend..
there's something i want to say....
i can't be as you want me to be...
but i have try my best to be the greatest friend...
maybe its not enough for you...
but that only i can give...
its up to you to accept it or to ignore it...
i really dont care about it...what i want is, to be the way i am..
starting from this moment,..do what you want to do...
as the friend, i had gave the best but you never appreciate that..
and to become worst, you blame me for the best i gave...
i dont know what you want actually...
but i hope you get what you want..the perfect person that you looking for and for the last thing, i never can't be the perfect person because i am a human and i hope you also realize that you also a human as me..
aRious......




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